Choice and Accountablity

I just finished e-mailing the director of the NATSAA competition I entered back in December. (National Association for Teachers of Singing Awards A?? something) I let her know that I had to withdraw. I told her it was for "personal problems and conflicts that have prevented me from preparing and attending the audition" It's actually because I got my DREAM part in a musical and I tried at first to do both but I blew a gasket and had to decide between the competition and the play. And I discovered just today that I made the right choice. I know I did because I made the decision a month ago, and haven't even thought about the competition since. I have been so engrossed in the role and in rehearsals, and as we get closer to opening night I am so excited I can hardly wait. I usually dread opening night like this book I read when I was little featuring Grover from Sesame Street. He is frantically trying to keep you from finishing the book because there is a monster at the end. He tries to stop you from turning the pages by building a brick wall, tying ropes around the page, and warning you of the dire consequences at the end of the book on every page. That book always freaked me out, even though the monster ends up being Grover himself. Anyway, that's how opening night usually is for me, but now...bring it on, man, I am ready. Even if it is a total failure, I am so grateful for the opportunity to FINALLY play this part I have always wanted. And with the cutthroat sopranos in this world of community theater I never thought I'd actually get cast. It's a blasted miracle.

So goodbye NATS Competition, hello Secret Garden. I have no regrets. Except for the fact that I brought up Grover this late at night. He is so scary.. (remember Super Grover? Yikes!)

*** Gratitude for today 1. peanut butter (a great laxative) 2. Theater friends 3. My $5 blue pj's from Target 4. Singing 5. inner peace after an inner storm****