Thursday, May 31, 2007

It's embarrassing that I am writing this @ 4:20 a.m... Yes, I am one of those people who write when they can't sleep. It seems to be the only time that I feel like writing. I have been really sick the past few days. I have been so glad to be sick, strangely enough. It has been an excuse to be home in bed, somewhere that I have not been enough lately. So although I was so happy to have slept all day yesterday, it has screwed up my sleeping schedule so I am awake all night. It doesn't help that my DOG had to wake me up to go out- otherwise I might have been asleep instead. I am not happy with that little prince. Sometimes I love him, other times he is so annoyingly spoiled I just want to... well, I don't want to say because it sounds like animal cruelty. But I think I am guilty of animal cruelty anyway by how terribly I have spoiled that dog. There is no hope for him.

I haven't written in a really long time because I have been incredibly overscheduled since April. I was in Proof which played the first two weekends in May, and now I am in another production called Who Will Carry the Word which plays at the end of June. Whenever I am in a play it just puts my life into a whole new level of chaos- I am so tired ALL OF THE TIME and I get so sick of not having any energy. I don't know that I would be any less tired if I weren't committed to these projects. It just frustrates me to no end to have to drag myself around ALL OF THE TIME. Performing takes the most energy out of me than anything else I have been involved in in my life. Not necessarily the actual performing, but the preparation, the rehearsal, the thinking and gearing up for the performance, not to mention late night rehearsals to throw off my already erratic sleeping schedule. And then on top of that, this next one I'm in has me doin' modern dance. So now I'm sore as well. And I feel like I'm going to get struck by lightening or something by complaining, because there have been so many times in my life where I would have killed to be in a show, and here I am whiningI about it. I am the classic personality who is never satisfied, even when I get what I want. Which is why I made sure to include gratitude in my blog, so I can work on that defect, however small the attempt may be.

Gratitude :
1/ I'm grateful that I don't have rehearsal till next Tuesday
2/I'm grateful that my hubby cleaned the living room
3/I'm grateful that my boss is so flexible with me